Overview of Mental Health & Emotional Healing for Women in Their 40s
Why It Matters, Especially After 40
Turning 40 is often a milestone that prompts a fresh look at our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. As we reach this age, we may confront a mix of life changes—our children growing up, shifts in career, evolving relationships, and new realisations about our personal identity. This period, often called "midlife," can stir unresolved emotions and trigger questions like, “What’s happening to me??” or "Why do I feel so foggy and overwhelmed all the time?”
Mental health awareness is crucial, particularly as we enter our 40s and beyond. Unresolved issues or trauma can keep the central nervous system in a perpetual freeze mode. This often looks like not being able to get your act together and dropping the balls you normally effortlessly juggle.
The connection between mental and physical health is undeniable. Chronic stress or unresolved emotional trauma can lead to physical issues, like increased inflammation, fatigue, or even cardiovascular disease.
Let’s explore various ways of nurturing mental wellness and emotional balance within ourselves. With consistency and a little faith, our efforts at prioritising our mental health will bring much peace and empowerment to ourselves.
Emotional Triggers and Trauma
Emotional triggers are unresolved reactions rooted in past experiences, often from childhood or previous relationships.
When triggered, the brain often reacts automatically, based on past trauma or learned behaviours. By identifying these triggers, you can pause and respond consciously, rather than react impulsively. Breaking the pattern of your automatic reactions promotes emotional resilience.
My favourite effect of healing emotional triggers is that it facilitates self-growth and empowerment. Self-awareness developed through recognising triggers allows you to figure out where you may be holding yourself back, or pushing yourself too hard. Processing these emotions clears the path for growth, confidence and a renewed sense of freedom.
As we age and our bodies grow less resilient to stress, forgotten triggers from the past may resurface. They can interfere with a your hectic schedule, your closest relationships as well as your own perception of yourself.
Recognising and processing emotional triggers can be liberating. Because let’s face it carrying unprocessed emotional baggage gets exhausting. Addressing your triggers helps you lighten this load, leading to a calmer, more peaceful state of mind.
Start by identifying patterns in your reactions. When do you feel most reactive or hurt?
Writing in a journal can help, especially if you note the events that led up to your intense reaction to something, someone, some place. This has helped me tremendously in terms of identifying patterns of behaviour in myself.
Once you identify a trigger, you can work on managing it, perhaps with grounding techniques, co-regulation with a trusted person or through the support of a mental health professional.
Healing the Inner Child
Your inner child is more powerful than you realise. Because she is the gateway to your subconscious; the inner sanctum of your mind that even you don’t often have a glimpse into.
All our early childhood programming resides within the subconscious. And our inner child holds onto these formative experiences—both positive and negative. These become the basis of our core beliefs and survival strategies.
Many limiting beliefs—such as “I’m not good enough” or “I’m unlovable”—originate from unmet needs or unresolved traumas from childhood. Accessing this part of ourselves helps us transform these beliefs and heal our hearts.
Techniques like writing letters to your younger self or engaging in playful activities you once loved as a child can help reconnect and heal.
Practising ‘reparenting’ by giving yourself the love, encouragement, and care your inner child missed. This can be as simple as speaking kindly to yourself, establishing boundaries, or treating yourself to something that brings comfort or joy. Building a supportive internal relationship with your inner child will pave the way in welcoming self-compassion, acceptance and love.
Inner child work is a powerful way to address core fears or beliefs, gradually reducing the impact of past emotional pain on your present self.
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness and meditation are transformative practices for emotional healing. While these two things are often lumped together, they are not the same thing.
Mindfulness encourages living in the present moment, which helps lessen the power of past traumas or future worries. With practice, it nurtures an ongoing, conscious attention to your current experience, aiming to cultivate a non-judgmental awareness of the present.
Meditation, on the other hand, refers to specific, structured practices to cultivate certain mental states, including mindfulness. Over time, it can calm the mind and reduce stress by allowing you to observe your thoughts without judgment.
Mindfulness and meditation support each other well. Practicing meditation can deepen your mindfulness, and cultivating mindfulness can make your meditation sessions more meaningful.
A simple way to start is by setting aside five minutes each morning to connect to your breath by simply observing your inhales and exhales. Over time, this practice can extend to helping you observe your emotions as they arise, which is particularly useful for managing emotional triggers.
Understanding Polyvagal Theory
This is a universe in itself. Understanding polyvagal theory has given me tremendous perspective on emotional regulation. It is, in short, the neurobiology of feeling safe.
In today’s world, there is an inconsistency between the words we use to describe safety and our bodily feelings of safety. Because in the modern world, we tend to place higher value on thoughts than on feelings.
Feeling ‘safe’ is highly dependent on externally derived cues from the environment as well as from social cues from others in your immediate circle.
Central to the theory is the idea that the vagus nerve controls our body’s response to safety and danger, influencing our “fight or flight,” “freeze,” and “rest and digest” states. These responses are part of the autonomic nervous system, which can affect our emotional well-being depending on whether we feel secure or threatened.
Exercises like deep, diaphragmatic breathing or singing can help activate the vagus nerve, enhancing emotional resilience. These practices are especially helpful in times of heightened stress, allowing us to tap into a state of calm and connection rather than reactivity.
Radical Self-Care: Responsibility and Acceptance
Radical self-care goes beyond typical ‘pampery’ self-care routines. It actually focuses on actions that create lasting emotional well-being.
This includes taking radical responsibility for our thoughts and actions—acknowledging that while we can’t control everything that happens to us, we can control how we respond. Taking ownership of our reactions can induce feelings of relief and reduce feelings of helplessness.
Radical acceptance is also a key aspect of radical self-care. By accepting reality as it is, we let go of resistance, allowing for peace even in difficult situations. This doesn’t mean we approve of negative events; rather, we’re choosing not to let them consume us emotionally. This mindset shift can profoundly change how we approach challenges.
Radical self-care requires bravery and courage because it often demands stepping away from societal norms and expectations to prioritise your own well-being. It means saying no to others when your body and mind are crying out for rest, setting firm boundaries even when it might upset those around you, and unlearning patterns of self-neglect that may have been ingrained since childhood.
It also takes a whole lot of faith—faith in yourself to recognise your needs and faith in the process of healing. Radical self-care is not just about pampering; it’s about cultivating resilience, breaking cycles of self-sacrifice, and believing that your worth is not tied to your productivity or the approval of others. It is an act of deep trust in your capacity to thrive and also probably the hardest thing you ever do for yourself.
Final Thoughts
The tools outlined are great to help you navigate your way to better mental health. Because emotional healing is a journey. And every woman’s journey is unique. We all deserve the peace that comes with self-acceptance and the resultant personal growth.
